For Posterity's Sake

Yesterday morning I had only 1 bar on my fertilty monitor and this ovulation predictor kit (opk):

Today, I had 2 bars (still not 'peak' for those of you that are new to this) in the morning and this is my opk:

I just *know* I will ovulate tomorrow on Thanksgiving.

BLAH

I hate it when people I like are at odds. It's especially hard when you can see both sides of the coin.

Atta Girl!

I got an Atta Girl! yesterday and today. Quite the change from my Brain Sprain post.

I told Jamie about it and he laughed because he said his boss gives him an Atta Boy! all the time instead of a rai$e. One day he even emailed him an Atta Boy! That's when Jamie decided to email Direct TV and cc his boss on the email. Basically, he explained to Direct TV that he had email confirmation of his Atta Boy! and would like to pay his bill with it. Shockingly, Direct TV did not reply. I do think his boss gave him an Atta Boy! for his fabulous sense of humor.

One Month Later

Wow, it's been a month since I posted. That's not to say nothing has happened, but we have just been so busy.

Last month was a weird month. We were not really 'trying' for a baby when I ovulated since we are still without insurance until December 1st, but Jamie was feeling like we should go ahead and try. I gotta tell you...negative pregnancy tests never get easier to look at.

I know he is 1000000% on board this month. I feel really optimistic. I cannot explain it. I just feel like this is the month. I've never felt like that before.

Jamie asked what I wanted for Christmas and I told him I wanted to be pregnant! No lie. He said he would see what he could do. I told him if I didn't get pregnant this time, then next month I want to do intrauterine insemination. I don't particularly care for the idea of us using a lab to insert his sperm through my cervix, but hey...beggars cannot be choosers. Isn't that how the saying goes?

I did overcome one obstacle and maybe it's why I feel so optimistic. I've had this mental block that would not allow me to pray for a baby. I know it sounds stupid, but if He knows the desires of my heart and knows my prayers by just a sigh I kind of felt like that was going to be enough. I felt guilty praying for a child when so many people need prayer for so many things that are much more essential to their lives. I almost felt selfish praying for a baby when I get prayer requests for cancer, death, despair. The list goes on and on. I decided to not only start a journal of what I'm reading, understanding and applying from the Bible, but to journal my prayer requests. I want to have a written record that will allow me to go back and see how every thing has been answered.