This is Why We Don't Tell Anyone

Last night I came home, didn't feel quite right. I was still spotting and had a very mild lower back cramp. I didn't feel much like dinner, but had some tomato soup. I felt some discomfort similar to constipation and had increased spotting. Three hours later, I was throwing up and just wanted to sleep. I woke up at 3:15am with heavy cramps and severe bleeding and clots. My head was aching and my body was not right. I took a hot bath and the cramps subsided enough for me to sleep for another two hours. I figured there was no need to go to the ER at Women's Hospital. There wasn't anything they could really *do*. I called the office right when they opened and his nurse took my call right away. She told me my hcg from yesterday's blood draw was only 5. I went into the office to see Dr. Irwin and he told me that while my progesterone was in the normal range, it was at the low end of normal. He said the good news is there is no reason why we shouldn't be able to achieve pregnancy again. He also said that next time I will need to call and get a progesterone prescription. He said it's just bad luck.

I called my best friend of over 25 years because even though Jamie loves me to the moon and back, it's just different for guys. Male humans are not male penguins. She talked it over with her sister who is a NICU RN at Women's and I got a name for a new ob that specializes in high risk pregnancy. I think I may go see him. I'm not sure. I love Dr. Irwin, and I think he's smart as all get out, but sometimes I think I need something more. I cannot shake the feeling that if I got my results sooner and had progesterone this pregnancy might have been viable. There is just no telling. BUT, I'm not going to worry about that. I'm just going to focus on one thing at a time.

Today, I will rest. I will listen for God, pray and rest.