It's IUI TIME!!!

So, I sent out a prayer request today to a couple of very close girlfriends...mostly women that have fertility issues, or have overcome fertility issues. Oh, and those special people that I think know me better than I know myself.

Tomorrow is a big day...Jamie is having sperm analysis and I'm having insemenation.

Please, keep this confidential, but PLEASE pray about this. AND PLEASE don't talk to Jamie about this. He's having some pride issues.

Okay, specific prayers....

1. Jamie relax and know that we doing this because we really want a baby and this is the best gift he can ever give me. Happy Anniversary (may15th)

2. I can relax and not get my cortisol levels all out of wack. (Stress is bad for TTC)

3. They don't mix up the sperm at the andro lab and we find out 9 months later when my baby is born with an afro wearing Air Jordan's.

4. Dr. Irwin's experience, knowledge and guidance is able to shine through and help put me at ease.

5. That this works really well, but doesn't turn me into OctoMom version 2.0.

6. That Christ is there the entire process with us. Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Okay, I think that about covers it! lol I know you can tell I'm VERY nervous.

I cannot tell you how much I value your friendship. I don't know where I would be without you as a support system.

I got some AMAZING responses. Here are a couple of my faves.

Aimee,

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. WE have been there and done that....I know what you are going through. That is exactly the path we had to take to have our wonderful Nathan, now 7 years old!

Take care!
Lisa


sigh... just warm fuzzies going through me. BE BLESSED.
Everyone always
asks about you. I cant wait to report Im gonna be a another "cinny" to a little
one.

Genesis 49:25 (New International Version)
because of your
father's God, who helps you,
because of the Almighty,
who blesses you with blessings of the heavens above,
blessings of the deep that lies below,
blessings of the breast and womb.
Amen.
-Cindy

I pray that you both would feel God's spirit of peace over this day and the day's events. I pray that you can feel His mighty arms wrapped around you, holding you through it all. I pray God's perfect wisdom and guidance for your doctor and staff. I pray for the perfect sperm and the perfect egg to match up. I pray for your joy in receiving a positive test and I pray for God's protection over you and your precious baby to be. I pray for that first kick you will feel and the joy it will bring. I pray for a healthy pregancy and safe delivery and a perfect flawless
baby. I pray to God for you to know the joy of holding your precious baby in your arms. Nothing is too big for our God. Don't be afraid to get your hopes up. One day in God's perfect timing it will happen and maybe (I'm praying) this is it.

John 14:27- Jesus: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
Love you and praying for you!
Donna

I will keep you in my thought and my prayers!!
1. Tell him to wear loose boxers and do some deep breathing before watching the porn for
assistance.
2. Have half a bag of Dove Chocolates and breathe!
3. If you DO get a baby with an afro chances are he is going to be good a basketball and hopefully get a scholarship and into the NBA and take care you and Jamie when you are old and grey.
4. They don’t give just anybody a doctors license.
5. If you do get 8, the good news about that is you will probably have to only go through labor once and you will get your own reality TV show “Aimee and Jamie…Party of 10”???
6. The Lord is always with you!

Last but not least you have great amazing friends and family to hold your hand all the way to the finish line!!!!

P.S to the sperm…….SWIM BOYS SWIM!!!!
Love ya!!
Jakelyn

You are funny ...afro:). Will do, you are on my list.
Oh key lime pie was a hit.
-Vanessa

Will do, we are going in on the 11th. I will keep you posted.
Love,
Trish

Long Time No Blog

That's because this whole buying and selling a house business has sucked the life out of me. I honestly don't even want to blog about it because I'm so irritated at this point and I'm trying to just let it go.

Some good news is I don't need shoulder surgery. I've been doing the physical therapy pretty hard core. There is a small tear in my labrum, but not worth having surgery unless my symptoms get worse. It really only hurts when I work. **sigh** I try to be pretty diligent about stretching out before, during and after work.

On the TTC front, I'm CD 14 and no dice on the monitor or the opk.

Really irritating thing happened. I have a VERY good friend that was trying for over a year to get pregnant. I was ecstatic for her when she finally did get pregnant after being told ART was her only option. The thing is, she bitched and moaned the entire time I was with her last weekend about how fat she is. Ummm, no you way 125 pounds at 21 weeks. You're fine...you were just a twig before.

Hard to Describe

I've been working with the group that does Summer Kids Club and got invited to check into doing some skits on Sunday mornings for the kids. I have to say, I've been feeling this pull that I've been resisting. When I was in there today I had to leave the room to cry. It's just so overwhelming. These precious kids singing about the Love Jesus has for them. These parents that entrust them to our care every week. I was just overcome. I think this is where I'm supposed to be, but it's just so hard. I don't have a family. Some would argue that Jamie is my family, but I feel really disconnected because of where he is at spiritually. I feel really alone. I just don't know when it will finally be MY turn to have a baby.

It Doesn't Get Any Easier

Brown spotting tonight. I will probably start my period in 2-3 days.

I called the office to go over all of the instructions, fees and insurance for iui.

Now I'm just waiting for my period, so that I can wait to ovulate, so that I can wait to test.

I'm doing a lot of waiting. I will wait and I will pray.

Prayer is the discipline by which God gives us the ability to wait. To preserve. To dream again. And to trust.

-Angela Thomas

I'm Out.

I just know it. All the symptoms are there. I'm sure I will start my period sometime next week.

It never gets easier.

Time to Relax

Today was nice. We had a much needed break in doing 'house stuff''. It's all busy work right now anyways. I'm glad to be in the contract phase and not having to shine my sink and mirror every day before I leave. Living in a staged home is exhausting. Always wondering if you raised the blinds for people to catch a water view, did you leave your cereal bowl in the sink, did you put away that book you were reading...

Jamie got back from out of town and I think we had some pretty well timed baby making. I think the Wheat Germ Oil and Omega 3 Oil made me ovulate a little later than normal. Maybe it will be a good thing.

My friend's teenage daughter was telling me how she wanted to adopt two baby girls one day and name them Coraline and Wednesday. lol She's such a cute girl. She asked me what I wanted baby wise and I told her I would be happy either way. She said, "no, really...what do you want?" I guess she was not expecting me to say either way I would be happy. When I was her age I didn't even think I wanted kids.

CD14-17

Jamie will be out of town for work. I'm not thrilled because there is some peak fertility time we will be missing, but what can we do? C'est la vie.

I have to remind myself this is not my will, but His will. I need to let it go. I keep taking it back.

I want to count out the days and think ahead to when the NEXT time I ovulate will be, but I have still yet to ovulate this month. Let it go, Aimee, let it go and let God take it...

Frustration

I am so frustrated. I counted the days and it looks like I will ovulate on a Saturday. Now, that wouldn't be a big deal for me to do the iui on Saturday, but it falls the same day as my mom's 50th birthday party. I just don't thing logistically I will have time and be able to rest properly afterwards.

I'm just so tired of this. I want to cry. I just want a baby already.

I had a mini meltdown earlier this week. Jamie told me he's sad we were so responsible all those years. It's crazy really when you think about all the money we spent on birth control. I will NEVER go back on the pill.

It's Come to THIS?!?!

I am taking Wheat Germ Oil and Omega 3 capsules three times a day. I read some anecdotal evidence that suggests it increases fertility. If I do not ovulate on the weekend and Jamie is not out of town for work we are going to do an iui (intrauterine insemination). They wash the sperm and use a canula to deposit them through the cervix.

Tick Tock

Almost time to test.

I'm having one of the worst acne break outs of my life. Y'all know I NEVER have acne. Maybe one pimple with my period, but NEVER more than that. I will refrain from photographing the blemishes.

I'm going to wait a few days to test. I cannot handle the heartbreak of one line anymore.

Surrender

I have no idea when I'm going to ovulate. I'm not even sure if I'm having fertile cervical mucous. I'm just too tired of TTC to care. I guess when Jamie's ready we will go try the iui. I'm sick of being the one to be proactive in everything. He knows that is what Dr. Irwin said would be the next step. I feel a certain freedom in that, but a certain sadness too. At what point will he wake up? I surrender this to God.

Spring Cleaning

Boy, we did a lot of it this weekend. I think we will be all staged and ready for buyers to look at our townhome by Febuary 1st. The incentives keep getting better and better on new home building and I pray we can unload this place in time to get in while the getting is good.

Elevator Stomach

Ever have a moment where your stomach goes from the 92nd floor all the way to the basement in 3 seconds flat? It leaves you wanting to vomit.

Imagine my surprise when I stumbled on myspace and saw an acquaintance was 19 weeks pregnant and 10 weeks married. Fun times. I thought I would throw up right there. I thought I was a better person than this, but I felt a lot of bitterness bubbling.

Christmas Break

It's been great having the time off to spend with everyone.

There's so much going on in my mind that I don't really know where to start...
I guess I will just leave with the thought of how excited I am for 2009. This was a tough year and so much happened it really feels more like 5 years since we were ringing in 2008.

When I sit back and reflect it doesn't seem possible that only a year has past. This year did so much to transform me forever as a person. I grew closer to Christ, learned more about myself and examined the relationships in my life with a new perspective.

I learned what it means to be a Tree.

I am so thankful for the knowlege that has been given to me in Faith.


Ezekiel 47
The River From the Temple

The man brought me back to the entrance to the temple, and I saw water coming out from under the threshold of the temple toward the east (for the temple faced east). The water was coming down from under the south side of the temple, south of the altar. He then brought me out through the north gate and led me around the outside to the outer gate facing east, and the water was trickling from the south side.
As the man went eastward with a measuring line in his hand, he measured off a thousand cubits and then led me through water that was ankle-deep. He measured off another thousand cubits and led me through water that was knee-deep. He measured off another thousand and led me through water that was up to the waist. He measured off another thousand, but now it was a river that I could not cross, because the water had risen and was deep enough to swim in—a river that no one could cross. He asked me, "Son of man, do you see this?"
Then he led me back to the bank of the river. When I arrived there, I saw a great number of trees on each side of the river. He said to me, "This water flows toward the eastern region and goes down into the Arabah, where it enters the Dead Sea. When it empties into the sea, the salty water there becomes fresh. Swarms of living creatures will live wherever the river flows. There will be large numbers of fish, because this water flows there and makes the salt water fresh; so where the river flows everything will live. People will fish along the shore; from En Gedi to En Eglaim there will be places for spreading nets. The fish will be of many kinds—like the fish of the Mediterranean Sea. But the swamps and marshes will not become fresh; they will be left for salt. Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear fruit, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing."

White Christmas

Well, not quite, but it did snow this week. Here is our fresh cut tree.

Dig that Crazy Christmas!

That was the name of our kids' Christmas program. I had the BEST time. Autumn video taped, so give me a few days...look out youtube. My mom hopefully got some good pics and I will post them as soon as I get them from her.

I forgot how much I enjoyed theatre. Even though I only had a few lines in a skit designed for kids; it was so much fun. I just love the entire process. I love the flexibility we have there. We wrote our own lines, did our blocking and costumes...it just made it THAT much more fun when the audience was laughing at our jokes, or kids were coming up to us after and commenting on the funny parts.

My hair defied gravity! Cindy's did too! lol

Oh, and kids came up to me after to hug me and get their picture taken with me. That was the best part...thinking that kids will remember these fun times at church. When I grew up just about the only thing I did at church was Vacation Bible School. Do you know what I remember the most? Having snow cones. lol It might sound trivial, but those snow cones were a big part of me getting to know Jesus.

Negative Pee Sticks

They put me in a negative mood. I had two really blank ones this weekend. I don't know WHY I torture myself and test early. Two weeks is WAY too long to wait. Two weeks **sigh** more like two years!

Saddened

Funny thing happens when you are TTC. You hear more stories along the way about other people and their TTC struggles. I don't know if it's just God's way of guiding you, or your friends are just more adept to share because they know you bring a heart of compassion to the subject.

My childhood best friend just lost her niece. Her brother and sister in law were expecting their first child. They conceived through IVF and this is something they both really worked at and wanted for so long. I have only met the mom once or twice, but my heart is just aching for her.

Jamie's Birthday

We went to the Renaissance Fair! He had so much fun. He met a new beer called Bottington's and fell in love, got spanked by a jester and looked at boobies popping out of corsets. All in all he had a good time.

More OPKs

Here is the opk from Thursday night:



Perfect for baby makin'!